"Look at me now, asshole!"

So I'm sitting here bored out of my mind watching Maury, and today's topic is 'former geeks'. AKA- Attention whores who were made fun of in school & never got over it cause they're stupid. They come on the show to show off how great they turned out despite their 'hardships', kind of a one-upsmanship to their bullies. It's always the same- The women come prancing out in stripper clothes with fake boobs, tranny makeup, and a spray tan. Most of the time they ARE strippers. The men come out wearing leather pants, cowboy hats, and douchey tribal tats, covered in oil & flexing their moobs. They are usually strippers too. NEVER have I seen a show where the former nerds turn out really rich or successful, they always just get a bunny ranch makeover & expect people to be impressed.

There's this walking STD on there right now who went from a normal looking bespectacled girl to a fake-titted, bleach blond whore. She skips out from backstage in her exquisite lucite heels, wiggling her water balloons, and starts telling poor Maury how she dropped out of school because she was so embarrassed by her flat chest & frizzy hair. Then they bring out some guy she liked who didn't like her back, & she starts YELLING AT HIM, and demands that he kneel down & apologize to her. She kept shouting "You know you would kill for a chance with me NOW!" He just laughed at her & said he still wouldn't touch her with someone else's dick. His exact words were "I don't think so. It's about more than looks." HA! She replies with "Psssh, wha-eva! Its ok cause I don't even THINK about you anymore!" Um, bitch, you brought the guy on national TV just to bitch him out for not ga-googidying your ga-shmoigity 10 years ago!

The next one is literally a PROSTITUTE. She proudly states that she's the head 'courtesan'(hooker) at the 'Kit Kat Ranch'(whorehouse) & gives sex advice to Esquire magazine(which I'm sure goes something like "Always get the cash UP FRONT, honey!"). Gee, the popular guy who made fun of her braces back in 5th grade is gonna feel SOOOO stupid when he sees how great she turned out! Cause she's not just some pathetic slut who only feels alive when there's a dick in her ass, oh no- she's SOMEBODY now. /sarcasm.

God these people are pathetic. Do they really take childish teasing that seriously? You know, I got made fun of in school too, everyone did at one point, but you GET OVER IT. You don't hold on to every name you got called in 5th grade well into your adult years. People who feel the need to get revenge on everyone who called them 4-eyes back when they were 12 should seek professional help. I'm starting to think the only reason Maury even does this show anymore is just so he can laugh at these oxygen thieves.