Goodbye, 2009!

You sucked. I hated you. You were by far the worst year of my life. More bad, depressing shit happened in 2009 than in any other year, except maybe for '05. I wasted 9 months of this year with a guy who, aside from making me cry every other day, spending all my money, and trashing my stuff- finally admitted what I always suspected- that he has always thought I was fat & ugly and was only with me cause he thought he was 'supposed' to be. I haven't been able to hold a job, I got even fatter, and I hate myself more than I ever have in my entire life.

I've given a lot of thought to 2010 & what I'll do differently.

1. I'm gonna learn math.

When I was in school, I excelled in every subject EXCEPT math. The school told my parents I had an Einstein-level IQ. I tested highest in my grade in science from 6th grade onward & was considered gifted. Biology was FUN for me. And don't even get me started on English class. My 11th grade teacher once said it would be a crime if I didn't become a writer. I can spell ANY word in the English language, even words I've never heard before(It's almost savant-esque). I can learn to read & write a whole new alphabet within days(I taught myself Cyrillic in 2 days). I even get PHYSICS for Chrissakes- but I'm practically LD in math. I can do the basic functions but beyond pre-algebra I'm useless. It's not that I can't learn it- I can learn ANY mathematical functions but for some reason I will invariably forget it within 5 minutes. Well, @#$% that. I'm sick of feeling mildly terrified everytime I think about numbers. I'm gonna learn math once & for all, goddamnit. I'll start with algebra. Thats 2010's math goal- learn algebra to the point where I can solve any algebraic equation without help. And if I achieve this goal before the year is out- I'll start on geometry next. After that- who knows! Calculus, trig, etc. There are no limits. Screw being a math-tard. I wanna be a well-rounded geek.

2. I'm gonna lose weight.

Since 07, I have gained 40 pounds. FORTY POUNDS. If I don't lose weight, I WILL commit suicide. No more fatty foods, no more Big Gulp trifectas every day, no more not giving a shit what I look like. I'm gonna get hot if I have to become bulimic, damnit.

3. I'm going to cease self-destructive behaviors. (Yes, I realize the irony of this statement after the last sentence of #2)

No more going back to bad exes just cause I wanna see if 'love' can solve our problems. The thought "But he LOVES me!" will be forever forbidden from entering my mind. No more doing 'nice' things to people who I KNOW won't appreciate it. No more associating with losers. And no more not taking care of my body. This ties into the previous goal. I'm going to eat better & take various nutritional supplements. I'm only 29 but my joints already hurt & I feel sluggish all the time. It's time to do something about it. I don't wanna be 40 years old with the body of a 60 year old.

4. I am going to CHERISH my real friends.

Matt, Tiffany, Steve, Ted(just to name a few), etc- I will NEVER again disappear from your lives. You have all been too tolerant of my flakiness and I promise I will never pull that shit on you again no matter what.

That's all I can think of for now. Any suggestions?

"Look at me now, asshole!"

So I'm sitting here bored out of my mind watching Maury, and today's topic is 'former geeks'. AKA- Attention whores who were made fun of in school & never got over it cause they're stupid. They come on the show to show off how great they turned out despite their 'hardships', kind of a one-upsmanship to their bullies. It's always the same- The women come prancing out in stripper clothes with fake boobs, tranny makeup, and a spray tan. Most of the time they ARE strippers. The men come out wearing leather pants, cowboy hats, and douchey tribal tats, covered in oil & flexing their moobs. They are usually strippers too. NEVER have I seen a show where the former nerds turn out really rich or successful, they always just get a bunny ranch makeover & expect people to be impressed.

There's this walking STD on there right now who went from a normal looking bespectacled girl to a fake-titted, bleach blond whore. She skips out from backstage in her exquisite lucite heels, wiggling her water balloons, and starts telling poor Maury how she dropped out of school because she was so embarrassed by her flat chest & frizzy hair. Then they bring out some guy she liked who didn't like her back, & she starts YELLING AT HIM, and demands that he kneel down & apologize to her. She kept shouting "You know you would kill for a chance with me NOW!" He just laughed at her & said he still wouldn't touch her with someone else's dick. His exact words were "I don't think so. It's about more than looks." HA! She replies with "Psssh, wha-eva! Its ok cause I don't even THINK about you anymore!" Um, bitch, you brought the guy on national TV just to bitch him out for not ga-googidying your ga-shmoigity 10 years ago!

The next one is literally a PROSTITUTE. She proudly states that she's the head 'courtesan'(hooker) at the 'Kit Kat Ranch'(whorehouse) & gives sex advice to Esquire magazine(which I'm sure goes something like "Always get the cash UP FRONT, honey!"). Gee, the popular guy who made fun of her braces back in 5th grade is gonna feel SOOOO stupid when he sees how great she turned out! Cause she's not just some pathetic slut who only feels alive when there's a dick in her ass, oh no- she's SOMEBODY now. /sarcasm.

God these people are pathetic. Do they really take childish teasing that seriously? You know, I got made fun of in school too, everyone did at one point, but you GET OVER IT. You don't hold on to every name you got called in 5th grade well into your adult years. People who feel the need to get revenge on everyone who called them 4-eyes back when they were 12 should seek professional help. I'm starting to think the only reason Maury even does this show anymore is just so he can laugh at these oxygen thieves.

Phone Wars Pt. 1- debunking the "App Store" argument.

"There's an app for that!"

Ah, the smartphone wars of 2009. WebOS, Blackberry, iPhone, Android, Windows Mobile, etc. The hot topic lately has been "app stores", the little application repositories on your phone that show you a catalog of apps available for your device. The most famous one is the iPhone's, in fact, that's where the header comes from & what this post will mainly be bashing. The iPhone commercials show a yuppie's thumb scrolling through the screens of his iPhone, saying stuff like "Wanna find the nearest Starbucks? There's an app for that!". Personally, I don't see the point of taking up space with a whole damn app whose sole purpose is just to find a bleeding coffee shop when google Maps works just fine(but don't tell the proles that, right Apple?). But whatever babies, have your bottle I guess. Anywho- to the point. Lots of clods on the intarwebs are making the argument that Windows Mobile "doesn't have as many apps as Android & iPhone". To which I say- Um, are you idiots living in a CAVE? WinMo has COUNTLESS apps, they're just not all arranged in a neat little dolt-friendly app store. Oh, it has an app store(Microsoft Marketplace), but it's still in its infancy with not many entries. It will grow, but in the meantime- THE ENTIRE INTERNET IS YOUR APP STORE! Ever heard of Google? Any app in the world can be found there. Need a specific program, hop on Google from pocket IE or Opera & look for it! If you NEED an app store to find programs for your phone, well then, you're just dumb. Sorry.

WinMo has been around for THIRTEEN YEARS, your precious iPhones & Androids have only been around since 07. WinMo is like a cockroach- It has stood the test of time & remained largely unchanged since it's inception. Hardly a "dying OS", as some snobs are saying. And it will be around long after all the other fads cool off. No, it's not flashy(though it can be made to be), but it's the most capable, customizable OS in the world. It's basically a little computer in your pocket, hence the term 'Pocket PC'. But if you value pot finders, iTunes, and fart apps over all else, then by all means defect to an iPhone.

The "app store" & WM's age are just more frivolous arguments against WinMo. "Ew, it's OLD & has no apps!" Fuck you, buddy. WinMo is TOO GOOD for the likes of you. I hate you. (Pardon my language)

And that concludes Pt. 1 of the technology series in the 'Stuff that makes Mila's blood boil' saga.

Dweeby $3 solution to the missing Touch Pro 2 flash!

As all TP2 users know, the omission of the beloved camera flash from the phone has been a thorn in many a side, including my own. The flash on the previous models could be modified via special apps to function as a flashlight, which was just unbelievably convenient. The flashes on the Mogul & TP1 have saved me from countless broken necks while fumbling in the dark. I got quite used to having a flashlight at my fingertips 24/7, so I was understandably confused, frightened, and angry(lol) when I found that the TP2 would have no flash.

Butt- I have found a readily available, extremely cheap remedy! Readers, if you guys don't have a Hastings where you live, A. I pity you cause Hastings is awesome. B. If you don't know what Hastings is, it's a huge Borders-esque store that sells new & used movies & books, and also offers magazines, coffee, free wi-fi, and random doodads. All kinds of neato stuff can be found there.

Behold! The Lümpod! A tiny, stick-on LED flashlight for cell phones. Yes, I bought 2 cause I have 2 phone cases :P






PROS:

*Incredibly Cheap. $2.99 at Hastings(you can order it at Hastings.com & several other websites if you don't have any stores in your area).
*Very bright dual LEDs. Lights a dark room right up.
*The LEDs have a 30,000 hour life span. That means you could keep them lit for 3 & a half years before they burn out, so basically this device will last forever with normal usage
*4 colors- black, white, silver & pink.
*Very strong 3M adhesive- will NOT fall off.
*Replaceable batteries. Not a "throwaway" product.
*Does not use your phone's battery(major plus, since using the camera flash used to eat battery like no one's business).
*Makes you look even nerdier :)

CONs:

*Adds slight bulk. If you already think the TP2 is too big(I don't, it could be bigger, IMO), you may wanna skip this.
*You have to hold the button to keep the light on(but that's kinda good cause it won't get accidentally turned on in a purse or pocket)
*Big con- Makes your phone kinda wobbly if you lay it on it's back.
*Feels kinda wonky when texting.
*Makes you look even nerdier :(

Anyway, just thought I'd share this in case nobody has seen these. I know a lot of you TP2 users are really wishing for your flashlights back & this is as close as we're gonna get for a while.

The worst thing about Christmas...

The holidays are the most wonderful time of the year. The crisp air is filled with joy & anticipation of the coming holiday. But there is a dark side of Xmas, a sad, disappointing side. Craptastic gifts.

The absolute worst part of the holidays is getting shitty presents. I don't mean cheap gifts, cause cheap gifts can be awesome, I'm talking about outright CRAPPY gifts. Gifts that say without words that the giver knows nothing about you and would rather just get you a generic nail clipper set from Wal-Mart than spend the time finding you something you would actually LIKE. When I was 12 my aunt Bobby got me a horrifying pink & black striped sweater that might have fit me back when I was 8. I got a Barbie doll from my grandma one year, and while it was a lovely doll, I didn't have much use for it at age 17. And I can tell my mom all year long what I want for Xmas, but come Xmas morning I will invariably receive $50 worth of shower gel & lotion. It is the BIGGEST disappointment. I'm all eagerly ripping open a gift with childlike joy, wondering what it could possibly be, only to find it's just lotion. And its not just my mom- her best friend gave me a bath set last year too! AAAARGH. It's getting harder & harder every year to pretend I like these horrible, thoughtless presents. The anticipation of more bath sets every year are turning me into a real Grinch. I may just try to steal Christmas this year if it will prevent my bathroom cabinet from having 10 more bottles of stuff crammed into it. I am still using up all the damn bath shit I got last year, I swear if I get even ONE bottle of bubble bath this year I'm gonna lose it. You will see me on top of a bell tower firing randomly. But hey, at least I'll SMELL GOOD! Yeesh.

The kicker is- most of the time, I have allergic reactions to this made-in-china crap. I'm scared to even use half the stuff I get cause I might break out with hives or itchy red rashes. Talk about adding insult to injury. Get me socks, get me underwear, get me a $5 gift card from a store I'll never shop at, get me an Emily Post etiquette book for Christ's sake- just get me ANYTHING but bath stuff, PLEASE.

People, put just a microsecond of thought into your gifts this year. Your recipients will love you for it.

Blah Blah Blah...

Do you have any weird talents?
I can sing opera like nobody's business. Not a WIERD talent per se, but a relatively uncommon one. I can hit every note & sing along perfectly to the Diva Dance from 5th Element(aside from the synthesized notes that aren't humanly possible to hit). In fact, that's my sing-along song of choice when I'm driving or blowdrying my hair :)

When was your 1st kiss?
14

Do you have a YouTube account?
yes

Last book you read for pleasure?
Norse Magic

What's your 4th txt message?
Something from Tiffany about going to the mall. How teenage-girl-in-the-80s huh?

What is your birthstone?
Garnet

In one word, how would you define yourself?
Wierd

Are your great grandparents still alive?
Just one :(

What is you favorite kind of ice cream?
Hmmm... pumpkin!

What do you like to do in your free time?
Nerdy stuff

Do you get along with your parents?
yes

Something you really need?
A steady job

What is the last TV program you watched?
Some BS about the civil rights movement on ID.

What are you wearing right now?
Pink PJ pants & a sweater.

What are you most looking forward to tomorrow?
My dad is taking the family out to dinner.

When you think of the rainbow, what pops in your head?
Gays, lol

Something you don't have any of:
um... warts? I dunno.

Have you lost contact with someone you wish you didn't?
Lots.

Are you afraid of the dark?
Actually, sometimes!

Whats worse, roaches or spiders?
Oh god, no contest. Spiders FTW.

How often do you redo your Myspace profile?
Not as often as I should. The layout has been glitched out for about 6 months now.

Do you ever want to get married?
Honestly? Not really.

How long does it take you to get ready to go somewhere?
10 mins

Would you rather be called hot, cute, or awesome?
Cute

Travel by bike or walk?
Bike

Play any sports?
Nope

Who knows you best?
My mom

Have you learned a new song lately?
Nope. Trying to learn Slavsya, Rus! By Arkona though.

Name one of your 2nd cousins:
Ryan

What would be the best gift ever?
Money

Do you have cancer or know someone who does?
No, thank Odin.

What is your current mood?
Nervous

Who do you admire?
People who aren't afraid to be who they are, political correctness be damned.

Are you photogenic?
Oh god, no.

Favorite food smell?
Baking bread, probably.

Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?
Guilt

When is the last time you smoked weed?
Ugh. Jeff made me smoke some back in August. It was horrible.

What movie are you waiting to see in theatres?
NEW MOON!

Why did your last relationship fail?
He was abusive.

Have you played on the Wii yet?
Nope

Do you like Paramore's music?
I love them.

What is your favorite softdrink?
Dr. Pepper

Are you still a fan of Michael Vick?
That piece of shit is one "human" I could kill horribly and never ever feel an ounce of guilt.

Last time you puked?
Months ago

What do you think of politics?
IMPEACH OBAMA.

What is worse, physical or emotional pain?
Emotional.

What are your fetishes?
I am a sucker for furry blond long-haired Viking men :)

How often do you say the F word?
Only when I'm by myself or INCREDIBLY angry at someone.

Have you held hands with somebody in the past seven days?
Just Stinky(little sis)

Whats something you and your BROTHER have in common?
Our last name

Your ex calls you and tells you they hate you, your reaction?
Hang up & probably cry from sheer irritation.

Will you talk to the person you like tonight?
Lol, I don't like anyone.

Who were you last on the phone with?
My dad

What did you do today?
Took my mom's car to autozone for code diagnostics, helped her get the Xmas stuff down from the attic(terrifying, BTW), went to the store with her, and functioned as a human jungle gym for an overstimulated 6 year old.

Is there someone you will always be attracted to?
Yes

Do you miss anyone?
Yes

Mood right now?
Sleepy

Ever had your heart broken? and does it still hurt you?
Yes. It still bugs me sometimes.

Were you happier now or three months ago?
Now

Has anyone said they love you today?
Yes, Stinky came up & hugged me & said "I love you!"

What are you thinking about right now?
How I need to get some damn sleep.

Are you a different person now than you were five years ago?
Ohhhh yes

When's the next time you'll see your friends?
This weekend perhaps.

Are you afraid of falling in love?
No. It'll probably never happen again :/

Do you have a person of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?
Nope

Is it possible to be single and happy?
I'm living proof :D

Do you get scared during scary movies?
Depends on the movie. Mirrors scared me to death.

Have you ever had someone but you messed that up?
Many times.

When you're getting ready for something, do you listen to music?
Usually

Is anyone over protective of you?
My mom used to be.

Whose car did you ride in last?
Mom's

Are you happy?
kinda sorta

What's the last movie you saw in theaters?
Up

What/who woke you up this morning?
A wierd dream

Are you wasting your time on someone?
Not anymore!

Do you think about anyone before you go to bed?
I sometimes think about my ex.

Have you ever been to California?
Yeah, my sis lives there.

Does it bother you when people respond to a text with one word?
If it warrants more than one word, yes.

Do you enjoy going to school?
Yes

Do you have feelings for anyone?
No actually I don't.

Can you sleep without blankets covering you?
Never.

Would your parents be mad if you were in a relationship?
Lol only if I went back to my ex.

Do you think tomorrow will be a good day?
I have a reasonable expectation of such :)

What color are your eyes?
Kind of a dark amber, kinda like Catherine Zeta-Jones's. They have greenish rings so maybe they're dark hazel. You know- I have no freaking clue what color my eyes are :S

In the past week have you smiled?
Yes

How do you feel?
My boobs hurt.

Were you happy when you woke up this morning?
Ambivalent.

Is it okay to kiss people when you're single?
To a point, yes. If you're going around being a lip-whore, thats just gross.

Had anyone put there arms around you in the past 5 days?
Stinky did.

Will you regret your next kiss?
Most likely :/

Have you ever been asked out by someone you didn't want to date?
Many times. And I usually go out with them out of pity too.

Did you ever get caught passing notes?
I don't think so.

Were you smiling in the last picture taken of you?
No

What was the last song you listened to?
The aforementioned Arkona song

How late did you stay up last night and why?
5 am. No idea.

Are you close with your father?
yes

What was the last thing you drank?
tea

Do you think two people can last forever?
I'm gonna say no.

Could you go a month without cursing?
Yes

Are you a patient person?
No way.

Think a lot before you fall asleep?
To the point I can't fall asleep sometimes.

When was the last time you got a hair cut?
Gave myself a trim a few weeks ago.

Is your room clean?
Sort of

Do you eat ranch with your pizza?
Ew, no

Do you love anybody?
My family

Where is your biological father?
At home, zonked out.

Can you cook?
Yep

Where is your last bruise from?
I don't have any actually! Yay me.

What did you fear at night as a child?
I was deathly afraid of open closet doors. I would always see faces in the clothes. I still don't like closets. There's just something eerie about them.

Do you have a laptop or desktop computer?
Both

Do you miss the way things used to be?
Yes, a lot.

How many kids do you want to have?
None, but maybe one or two if I find a good Berserker to have little blond babies with.

Do you think you can last in a relationship for six months?
I have before.

Would you go bungee jumping for $2000?
Yes, though I normally wouldn't do it.

When was the last time you totally broke down?
2 weeks ago.

Do you secretly like someone?
Hmm, no.

Would you ever pick up gum from the ground and eat it?
No way. Who the hell does shit like that?!

You're going on a roadtrip, what MUST you bring with you?
Phone, headphones, netbook, chargers, contact case & solution, clothes.

Do you have someone who you can be your complete self around?
Yes, my family.

What's the connection between you and the last person you texted?
Best friendicle.

Is there someone you will never forget?
Several.

What is your favorite holiday?
Halloween or Yule

Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?
Nope

Are you listening to any music?
Nope

Has anyone ever sang or played music for you personally?
Lol yes

Are you trying to avoid liking somebody at the moment?
No

Have you ever hooked up with someone just to make someone jealous?
Lol no. Its not worth adding a notch on the bedpost just to make someone jealous.

Will this weekend be a good one?
Hopefully.

Have you ever fought with a friend because of their boyfriend/​​​​​​​girlfriend?​​​​​​​
Yes

Would you live with anybody on your top friends?
Probably. I could live with Gay Steve. He's tidy & has a kitty :)

Is there someone you can spend every minute with and be happy?
Stinky

Are you a jealous person?
Very

Is it usually easy for someone to make you smile?
Most of the time.

A big poofy dress or a short party dress?
Pants & sensible shoes.

What would you do if you received a long love letter?
Be annoyed but read it.

Do you hate it when guys act different around their friends?
yes, its idiotic.

Is your hair up or down today?
Down.

Apple can screw off with their BS.

I'm sick of all these goddamn iPhone commercials that act like basic features or network capabilities are somehow SO EXCLUSIVE to the iPhone. I just saw a commercial that advertised how you can be on a call & surf the web at the same time on the oh-so-holy iPhone. Guess what- that's a network-wide GSM capability! Has NOTHING to do with the iPhone!!! Gah!

All this $#@%ing iPhone worship seriously raises my blood pressure. My freaking Nokia from 5 years ago had MMS, but the iPhone just got it. My damn Treo from 4 years ago had cut & paste. iPhone just got it. I am simply astonished by how many people get taken in by the propaganda & think the iPhone is the greatest phone ever. It's like worshipping a RETARD that finally learned to read.

More boring survey shit :/

You going to be one hundred percent honest?
Ja.

Could you go the rest of your life without doing any drugs?
Absolutely. No question. Unless they're prescribed to me.

What are you wearing on your feet?
Purple nail polish

Last dream you had:
Don't remember

Has the opposite sex ever written you a poem?
I think so. Gay lol...

Was last night enjoyable for you?
Yes, I dyed my hair & watched I, Robot.

What is the first letter of the last name of the last person you kissed?
W

Do you change your phone background a lot?
Almost daily

How's your heart lately?
Strong

If you were being chased by an alligator, what would you do?
Pounce on it, and hold its jaws shut.

Do you want to tell someone how you feel?
I already did. The tirade contained much profanity too.

Ever gave a really long apology?
Yes. Though I have since rescinded it.

Where do you think your best friend is right now?
I don't have a best friend, unless you count my phone. She's right next to me :)

Has anyone told you they don't ever wanna lose you?
Yes, then he called me a fat stupid whore. So he lost me.

Think back to the summer, who did you like?
Define 'like'. I liked Matt, he was a good friend.

Who was the last person you high fived?
Myself :(

Whats the last thing that made you smile?
Tam Hanna inviting me to join the review staff at TamsPalm.com

Will you be in a relationship next month?
Most likely not.

Would you rather take a relationship really slow or really fast?
Slow

If someone is interested in you right now, would you like them to tell you?
Yes

How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
10-11

Is your best friend pissing you off at this exact moment?
N/A

Where was the last place you fell asleep other than your bed?
My chair

Who slept in your bed with you last night?
Nobody, thank Odin.

Has anyone ever called you a bitch?
Why yes

Will you be a strict parent one day?
The strictest

Can you go in public looking like you do?
Always. I have no pride.

Are you currently looking for a significant other?
Not really

How did you get your last bruise?
I walked into a table corner.

Who was the last person you took a picture with?
My kitty, who is now Jeff's kitty :/

Would you hug the last person you hugged again?
No

Name something that made you frown today?
Being too poor to buy the extended battery cover that I need for my Diamond.

Do you have anything that belongs to a boyfriend/girlfriend?
I think so. I have part of Jeff's tooth. I keep it for black magic :)

Who was the last person you had an argument with?
My mom

Has anyone ever bought you a ring?
yes

Who was the last girl you talked to?
Oh gosh... I don't really know any girls. Oh wait- Michelle from PPCGeeks.

Look at your nails; Do they need to be cut?
Just cut 'em tonight.

What was the last thing you watched on the TV?
Aqua Teen Hunger Force

Do you own a pair of slippers?
Several

Where was your default picture taken on myspace?
The OU Motel. I lived there for a month just for shits & giggles.

Do you think love is overrated?
VASTLY.

Where did you kiss the last person you kissed?
My driveway

Was anyone there to see you kiss them?
Don't think so

Is there something you want to say to someone but can't/won't?
I bite my tongue a lot cause I'm a strong advocate of politeness.

Is there snow on the ground where you are?
No :(

What is keeping you warm right now?
The heater

Do you think it's cute when a boyfriend/girlfriend gives a random gift?
Yes

Is there someone who always makes fun of you?
Not that I know of. Better not be...

How far away is the last person you kissed?
15 miles or so.

Has someone ever told you that they would be with you forever?
Yes, my ex

What is your favorite color shirt to wear?
Black or burgundy

What was the first thing you thought this morning?
Damn, I gotta pee!

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months or more?
Yes, if my partner is not a dumbshit.

Who was the last person you rode in a car with besides family?
Jeff

Who was the last person you cried in front of?
My dog

Did you have a good day yesterday?
I suppose so

Is it a hard time for you?
yes

How are you doing in school?
N/A

Are you dating the person you currently like?
No

Who is your best friend of the opposite sex?
Don't have one

Have you ever slept on the floor with someone you liked?
Yes. Wasn't worth it.

Do you still talk to the person you fell the hardest for?
Not willingly

Who is your last text from?
Jeff

Have you ever slept in the same bed with the last person you kissed?
used to live with him, so yes.

Does someone like you right now?
Probably

What is sitting next to you?
My phone

Do you have a bad temper?
I do, but I control it well

Are you afraid others will judge you from reading some of your answers?
Irrelevant

Were you happy when you woke up?
Neutral

Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?
My dad

Ever made someone cry?
Yes

Who's bed did you sleep in last night?
Mine

Cause I don't have anything relevant to say tonight...

1. Where is your phone?
On the left arm of my chair

2. Your hair?
Just past my shoulders, layered, light/medium brown

3. Your Mom?
One of my heroes. At their house right now probably.

4. Your Dad?
My biggest hero. In the garage working.

5. Your favorite meal?
Pineapple Thai fried rice

6. Your last dream?
I honestly can't remember!

7. What do you like to drink?
Tea(hot and cold) & Dr. Pepper

8. Your dream?
To find true happiness.

9. In what room are you?
My bedroom.

10. Your hobby?
Forum lurking, Windows Mobile nerdery, nail polishing.

11. What are you afraid of?
Fire, water, and spiders, in that order.

12. Last travel?
Memphis, Tenessee in August.

13. Where were you last night?
At home.

14. Something you are not?
Tolerant. And I am quite proud of this fact actually. Tolerance is just a politically correct mask for a weak constitution.

15. Muffins?
Mmmmm, blueberry...

16. Wishlist?
32 gig micro SD card, New Motorola S9s, an even smaller netbook(I have a 10.1 inch Acer right now, I'd like an EEE or something 8-9 inches. LOL OMG did I just write that?), a turbo for my car, a 500gb HD for my lappie, and the cheap chinese iPhone knockoff that runs Windows Mobile, purely for the WTF factor.

17. Where did you grow up? Wisconsin, Texas, and Oklahomo.

18. Last thing you did? Defragged my memory card.

19. What are you wearing? Tank top & homer simpson PJ pants

20. Your television?
An ancient blurry RCA tube from the pawn shop. She works though!

21. Your pet(s)?
I grouchy chihuahua, Nika.

22. Your friends?
All online. None in real life, sadly :/

23. Your life?
many mistakes made, but not over yet.

24. Your temper?
Usually pretty calm, but I definitely have my buttons.

25. Do you miss someone?
Yes.

26. Your car?
05 Dodge Neon SRT Design. Poppy red & damn sexay :)

27. Something you don't bring with you?
I usually leave my laptop at home.

28. Your favorite shop?
Nature's Treasures in Midwest City, OK. Awesome little witchy shop.

29. Your favorite color?
Purple.

30. Last time you laughed?
15 mins ago.

31. Last time you cried?
Today. I had to rub Bag Balm on my chapped eyelids too, damnit.

32. Your best friend?
Don't really have one :(

33. A place where you can go again and again?
Barnes & Noble.

34. Facebook?
Really damn boring! I really don't get the hype.

35. Favorite place to eat?
Outback Steakhouse or Red Lobster.

The best & worst of 2009

2009 was probably second only to 2005 as the worst year of my life.



The worst:

Wasting almost a year of my life dallying with a guy that is absolutely not good for me at all.

Another year without going to school or keeping a steady job.

I quit talking to all my friends again just for that jealous guy who nearly ruined my life.

Borrowed a ton of money from my parents that I will be paying back for a long time.



The best:

I got an almost new car that has not yet broken down!

I got a Touch Pro 2.

I really got to know myself this year, I now know what I want from life & how to go about getting it.

Got a new computer.

I realized what's really important in life. Family, good friends, and self-pride.

I realized what's NOT important- GUYS.

I will be going to school probably in a few months.


Comments?

True Beauty...?

My recent breakup has inspired me to examine what real beauty is. Does is come from within, or is it really just what meets the eyes?

For almost 10 years now, I have been in love with the most physically beautiful man I have ever met. On the outside he was breathtaking(to me at least), but on the inside he was less than cute. The whole experience(I won't go into detail, but it was bad) has forced me to examine what I consider beauty to really be. The most outwardly beautiful person I've ever met turned out to be the WORST person I've ever met. He was hateful, rude, selfish, emotionally abusive, and a shameless drug addict, but the very sight of him made me quiver. He was THAT hot. The most inwardly beautiful person I've ever met is one of the homeliest. He was caring, sweet, patient, ungodly smart, and he was also, chubby, hairy, and had enough bacne to rival the volcanoes of Io(the moon of Jupiter, dummy). WTF is going on with this equation?

I have been a shallow person for many years. Basically my whole life up until this year. If a guy was hot, I would put up with more shit than any sane person would. If a guy was average, he couldn't even get away with leaving a pee splash on the toilet seat. Why is this? I cannot answer that question. But I have learned a valuable lesson. Looks aren't everything, in fact, looks mean NOTHING.

What do I find beautiful in a person anyway, you ask?

Humor
Intelligence
Kindness
Love for animals
A conservative lifestyle
Sobriety
Family values
Adventurous attitudes
Positivity
Maturity
Responsibility
Honesty
Loyalty
Modesty

The next relationship I get into will definitely be based off of inward beauty. I'm tired of getting screwed over by HOT guys.

OMG!!!

Look what we got todaaaaaay! her name is Saphira & she's a stray rescue. She's sooooo sweet, she didn't make a peep on the ride home & took to me & Jeff right away.

I'm officially a cat lady!!!

WTF

Last night I dreamt that I was best friends with Lindsay Lohan. And yes, she was a tanner-streaked, coked out mess in the dream just like in real life. I can't possibly explain this one.

Have I grown old already???

I haven't done a damn thing for like the past 3 halloweens now. Like not a DAMN thing. As in I sat home on my ever-expanding ass all night, barely even cognizant of the fact that it's Halloween. And I'm Pagan too! I don't even do any rituals on holidays anymore. Gah. Halloween should be one of the biggest shindigs of the year for me. WTF is wrong with me. I used to go all out, I used to dress up, go trick-or-treating, go to parties(even though I'm not a party person), or at least go to the lake & light a campfire. My most awesome costume ever was when I was 4- I was a mummy with real wrapped bandages, fake blood & everything. I scared the SHIT out of all the other little kids! Seriously, some of the kids took one look at me & ran away crying. Man, that was a great Halloween.

No more of this lazy BS. Next year, the shit will hit the fan come October 31st.

On a lighter note, I went to the eye doctor yesterday & despite finding out that I have astigmatism(egg shaped eyeballs), I got new contacts. The bitch can see again, hurrah!

AAAAARGH.

You know what really, REALLY @#$%ing sucks? Innocently rubbing your eye & ripping your damn contact in half. Not only does it PINCH YOUR CORNEA, it also necessitates the purchase of a new lens, which I cannot easily afford. I'm going around with one contact in right now. Everything is all blurry yet clear, I'm getting a headache, and I have zero depth perception. Goddamnit.

Birth Control should be mandatory, not voluntary.

You know what irks me to death? People with too damn many kids. We were in Wal-Mart earlier tonight & waited in line behind a couple with 3 kids, one 6 year old who was minding her own business, one infant, and one 3 year old girl who was screaming, crying, and throwing fits the entire time. I overheard them talking to the girl ahead of them in line, telling her they have 10 kids total. WTF. You know, birth control is free from the state. I myself am on the free population control program. It's NOT that hard to not have too damn many kids. You should be considerate of people around you by refraining from breeding, especially if you can't keep the brats from annoying the shit out of everyone else.

You know, I really don't like kids honestly. Babies, toddlers, pre-teens, teens, I hate 'em all. They're loud, smelly, and I just want to slap them. Stupid laws against such actions. And I don't get why some people keep having baby after baby after baby. And it's always welfare people who can barely afford to take care of one baby let alone 4 or 5. You'd think they'd learn how babies are made after the 1st or 2nd one. Sex isn't that good! It's not worth having babies! Yeesh. I once saw a couple with 4 screaming brats buying a pack of condoms. How can you even get in the mood after having that many kids? I know I couldn't. I'd run screaming at the very sight of a dick after getting knocked up that many times.

Windows Mobile battery life tips!

Windows Mobile is easily the most powerful & capable mobile operating systems available, I don't care what ANYONE says. It is the most versatile, the most customizable & hackable, and you can do almost everything with it that you can do with a full computer. Once you go WinMo, you never go back! I have had many WM devices- an Ipaq hx4705, a PPC-6700, a PPC-6600, an HTC Mogul, an HTC Touch Pro, and currently an HTC Touch Pro 2. They were all awesome(especially the new TP2, eeek!), though the Touch Pro's battery life was HORRIBLE. I admit that for a while I thought about trading it for something else due to the battery life. It SUCKED! I got through the day just fine with the Mogul & all the ones before it, but I was outta juice by 1 or 2 pm most days with the TP. I resorted to an extended battery for a while, but I hated that vulnerable feeling of not being able to use a case, so I took steps to fix the issue. I figured that since I managed to up my TP's battery life from about 4-5 hours to 15-18 hours, I should provide a write up on how I did so. A lot of the tips here are common sense, but I will list them anyway. This writeup is mainly for WM6.1 devices & later, and the links for the ROMs are for the Touch Pro ONLY. Do NOT install them on any other device or you will brick it!!! If you go to PPCGeeks.com you can find many ROMs tailor-made to whatever device you own.

My tips for good battery life~

* Use a custom ROM & radio. This is one of the best things you can do for your TP. Mighty Mike's ROMs are, IMO, the best. I used Mighty ROM 4.16 & the Alltel 1.03.13F radio on my TP. Of course you have to unlock your phone first- detailed instructions and downloads here. I have found Mighty 4.16 to be the absolute best for battery life, plus its the closest to the stock Sprint ROM so there won't be 'culture shock' for new flashers(lol).

* Condition your battery. Despite what some people say, Li-Ion batteries DO respond to discharge cycling. Let it go completely dead every once in a while & charge it fully afterwards. Think of it as exercise for your battery.

* Turn off roaming. To do this, go to phone> menu> options> services, tap network services & click get settings. Set it to 'home only'. This will keep your phone from constantly hopping networks, which eats a lot of juice. On the other hand- if you're in an area where signal is really low, turn roaming back on & let the phone hop onto another network. Good signal = good battery life.

* Turn off wifi, bluetooth, and GPS when you're not using them. Also turn off the auto-brightness setting under your power options & set the brightness to one or 2 notches below center. I find this to be plenty bright enough while still being good for battery life. To turn off GPS just go to the phone screen, then menu> options> services, then click "location setting" in the box & click get settings. Turn it OFF.

* Download a registry editor if you don't already have one, PHM is a good free one, and navigate to this key;

HKLM>Drivers>Builtin>Battery

Change batterypoll to 25000 or higher(default is 5000).

This reduces the frequency that the CPU 'checks in' with the battery, thus consuming less power. Note that this key is already tweaked in some ROMs, so just check it everytime you flash a new ROM.

* One trick some people swear by is forcing 1x data. I found that this actually HURT my battery life, but try it & see if it helps you. You can force 1x under the same menu as the roaming settings, under 'mode of operation'. (note- Mighty ROM 4.16 does not have this option, but there is a cab floating around for it somewhere)

* Turn off vibrating alerts unless you absolutely NEED them. Tone alerts consume far less juice than the little motor does.

* Turn off the screen while listening to music. This can be accomplished by simply pressing the power button. Unless you're using Windows media Player, that is. If you find that the power button stops playback, just install this file & it should fix that problem. Also, many players have a built-in screen-off function. May I suggest Nitrogen? 'Tis what I use & 'tis excellent.

* Check your email manually instead of having it auto-check for you. I promise nobody is emailing you every 5 minutes.

* Set it to dim the screen after 10 or 30 seconds, and to turn off after 1 minute. These are the default settings, but just check them anyway.

* Install your apps to the SD card. I don't know if this has any OFFICIAL effect on battery life, but I personally have found that it makes a difference.

* Some people say TF3D eats a lot of battery, I have found this to be not that accurate. I have measured it with TF3D on & off, and the difference was really nominal. But, try it both ways(like a bisexual) & see for yourself.

*NOTE- this nest tip is up for debate, because I found out recently that underclocking actually hurt my battery life rather than helped it. I am of the opinion that fudging with your processor is not very good for it, but like with everything else, try it & see if it works for you. nueClockControl is one tool to do this. I would not recommend this though, honestly, nor would I recommend installing anything like nuepowerCPL or anything that tries to control power or battery life. I have personally found that they have a negative impact & tend to have the opposite effect of what they claim to do. But, you can always try them & see what they do for you. Just track your mAh drainage with & without these types of programs. Which leads me to...

* Download a battery-monitoring program like DrSigStat to monitor your drainage. Normal battery drain is anywhere from 40mAh to 80mAh on standby. This is a useful way to see if your battery is draining abnormally fast.

* If you find that it IS draining too fast, download a task manager like Dotfred's task manager and use it to check your running processes & CPU consumption. This way you can track down any rogue apps that are being gluttonous with your precious juice. You can also disable CMguardian with this app. Don't ask why, just DO IT. Heh.

* Download Advanced Config and Diamond Tweak and enable all the power-saving hacks. Set it to disconnect the data connection after 5 minutes or less. Check this setting periodically too, because I've found that for some reason it seems to revert itself every once in a while.

* When the phone is done charging & the charging light is solid, unplug it & replug it until the light starts immediately going solid. You can kind of 'top it off' this way, and this is good to do on your first charge after a flash or hard reset.

* If you are still getting bad battery life- try doing a "master reset" on your battery. There is a rumor that there's a bug in WM that causes it to measure the half-full battery charge on a new phone as full(You know how when you buy a new phone, how the battery is only half full), and it will only charge to that level from then on no matter how much you calibrate it. I dunno how truthful this rumor is, but the "fix" certainly can't hurt anything, so just try it. This is how to do it-

1. Let the phone go completely dead, until you can't even boot it up.

2. Charge for about 5 minutes, just long enough to get enough of a charge to boot up & hard reset.

3. Let the phone do it's configurations & reset, then plug it back in & let it charge OVERNIGHT.

Whether or not this rumor about the bug is true or not, doing this literally TRIPLED my battery life, so I'm inclined to believe it's at least partially true.

* If you still get bad life after trying a different radio, try this little tweak. This can be kind of unnerving for a n00b to do, but follow the steps & you'll be fine.

1. You need your MSL code. BAFMSL is the best way to get it. Install & run.

2. After getting your MSL(which you should write down for future reference), click (from within the program) on EPST. and click 'Edit'.

3. Click 'View Info' then 'NAM Settings'.

4. Go down to ACCOLC in this windows and edit it to be 7 or 8.

5. Click 'View Info' again, then 'Modem Settings'

6. Edit your Slot Cycle Index (SCI) to 3. This lengthens the amount of time between tower polls by the radio(AKA how often the phone checks in with the cell towers to see if a call is coming through). Do not change it to 4 or higher or you could start missing calls. Your Preferred Service System should be [Carrier Name] Only. I.E., I use Sprint, so mine says 'Sprint Only'. Finally make sure that 'HDR Hybrid Preferred' is enabled. While you're already here, click 'View Info', then 'Data Parameters', and make sure that your Rev.A is ENABLED.

NOTE- this hack is apparently reset to default if you hard reset or flash a new rom, so check it every flash/reset.

7. Click OK at the top right corner, click yes when it asks you if you want to update the items, and click OK again to soft reset.

* If you follow all these tips & tricks and you are STILL getting shitty battery life, your battery could be defective. Its actually very common, Touch Pro batteries seem to be utter shite. I have had 2 TP batteries fry out on me within 2 months! They really need to recall these batteries before one catches on fire & kills some poor schmuck. The symptoms of a bad battery are excessive heat & rapid discharge even in standby mode, and you'll know it's kaput if it won't charge at all(duh!). If this sounds like you & you are still under warranty(1 year from HTC), take it to any sprint repair center & they will exchange the battery for you. Be sure to re-calibrate it!

* After you've done all this, just USE the damn thing for a while. I have found that all batteries tend to improve over time, once you work 'em out a bit. My Mogul's battery was pretty bad at first too, but once I used it for a while, it got much better. Same thing happened with my old Sidekick(god, how embarrassed I am to admit that I was once an active member of the Sidekick community. It's like admitting to liking Britney Spears).

That's all I can think of for now, but I this post will be updated periodically as new tips/tricks/hacks are discovered. Good luck & enjoy your badass battery life :)